Do you ever wonder who you really are? What makes you tick? What are your passions, values, and goals? Knowing yourself is not only important for your own happiness and well-being, but also for your relationships, your career, and your contribution to the world. In this article, I’ll share with you some tips and strategies on how to get to know yourself better, based on scientific research and expert advice.
Why Knowing Yourself Matters
You might think that knowing yourself is obvious or easy, but that’s not always the case. Many people go through life without a clear sense of their identity, their strengths, their weaknesses, their likes, and their dislikes. They might follow the expectations of others, or the norms of society, without questioning if they are truly aligned with their authentic self.
This can lead to problems such as low self-esteem, lack of motivation, inner conflict, poor decision-making, self-control issues, social pressure, and reduced vitality and pleasure. On the other hand, knowing yourself can bring you many benefits, such as:
- Happiness. You will be happier when you can express who you are and pursue what you love. You will also be more satisfied with your choices and achievements.
- Less inner conflict. When your actions are consistent with your values and feelings, you will experience less guilt, regret, or anxiety.
- Better decision-making. When you know yourself, you can make choices that suit your personality, your preferences, and your goals. You will also be more confident and assertive in your decisions.
- Self-control. When you know yourself, you can understand what triggers your impulses and habits, and how to manage them effectively. You will also be more aware of your needs and how to fulfill them in healthy ways.
- Resistance to social pressure. When you are grounded in your values and preferences, you will be less likely to conform to others’ opinions or expectations. You will also be more comfortable saying “no” when you need to.
- Tolerance and understanding of others. When you are aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, you can empathize with others’ struggles and differences. You will also be more open-minded and respectful of diversity.
- Vitality and pleasure. Being who you truly are helps you feel more alive and enthusiastic about life. You will also enjoy more variety and excitement in your experiences.
How to Know Yourself Better: 6 VITAL Signs
So how do you get to know yourself better? There are many ways to explore your identity and personality, but one useful framework is the acronym VITALS, which stands for Values, Interests, Temperament, Around-the-Clock (or Activities), Life Mission and Goals, and Strengths/Skills. These are six key elements of self-knowledge that can help you discover who you truly are and what makes you unique.
Values
Values are the principles or standards that guide your decisions and actions. They reflect what is important or meaningful to you in life. For example, some common values are honesty, kindness, creativity, health, family, freedom, etc.
Knowing your values can help you align your behavior with your beliefs, and motivate you to pursue your goals. Research shows that just thinking or writing about your values can make it more likely that you take healthy actions.
To identify your values, ask yourself questions like:
- What do I care about most in life?
- What do I stand for?
- What do I want to contribute to the world?
- How do I want to be remembered?
You can also use a list of values (such as this one) and rank them according to their importance to you.
Interests
Interests are the things that spark your curiosity or passion. They reflect what you enjoy doing or learning about in your free time. For example,
some common interests are music, art, sports, travel, reading, etc.
Knowing your interests can help you find hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. They can also inspire you to explore new opportunities or careers that match your passions.
To identify your interests, ask yourself questions like:
- What do I love doing?
- What makes me excited or curious?
- What topics do I like to read or watch about?
Temperament
Temperament is the aspect of your personality that reflects your natural tendencies or preferences. It influences how you think, feel, and behave in different situations. For example, some common dimensions of temperament are introversion/extroversion, sensing/intuition, thinking/feeling, and judging/perceiving.
Knowing your temperament can help you understand your strengths and weaknesses, your communication style, and your compatibility with others. It can also help you choose environments or tasks that suit your personality.
To identify your temperament, you can take a personality test (such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Big Five Personality Test) or ask yourself questions like:
- Do I prefer to spend time alone or with others?
- Do I rely more on facts or intuition?
- Do I make decisions based on logic or emotions?
- Do I like to plan ahead or go with the flow?
Around-the-Clock (or Activities)
Around-the-clock (or activities) refers to the way you spend your time and energy throughout the day. It reflects your habits, routines, and lifestyle choices. For example, some common aspects of around-the-clock are sleep patterns, eating habits, exercise routines, work schedules, etc.
Knowing your around-the-clock can help you optimize your health and well-being, your productivity and performance, and your happiness and satisfaction. It can also help you balance your needs and responsibilities in a realistic and sustainable way.
To identify your around-the-clock, you can track your activities for a week (using a journal or an app) or ask yourself questions like:
- When do I feel most energetic or creative?
- What are my daily rituals or routines?
- How do I cope with stress or boredom?
- How do I balance work and leisure?
Life Mission and Goals
Life mission and goals are the overarching purpose or direction of your life. They reflect what you want to achieve or accomplish in the long term. For example, some common life missions and goals are to make a positive impact on the world, to pursue personal growth, to raise a family, to travel the world, etc.
Knowing your life mission and goals can help you clarify your vision and values, set priorities and action plans, and measure your progress and success. It can also help you stay focused and motivated in the face of challenges or setbacks.
To identify your life mission and goals, you can use a vision board or a mind map to visualize your ideal future or ask yourself questions like:
- What are my dreams or aspirations?
- What are my core values or principles?
- What are the specific steps or milestones to achieve my goals?
- How will I know if I have reached my goals?
Strengths/Skills
Strengths/skills are the abilities or talents that you have developed or learned over time. They reflect what you are good at or what you can offer to others. For example, some common strengths/skills are creativity, leadership, communication, problem-solving, etc.
Knowing your strengths/skills can help you leverage your potential and performance, build confidence and self-esteem, and find opportunities or careers that match your capabilities.
To identify your strengths/skills, you can ask for feedback from others
or take a strength assessment(such as the CliftonStrengthsor the VIA Character Strengths)or ask yourself questions like:
- What do I enjoy doing?
- What do I learn quickly or easily?
- What do others compliment me on?
- What do I want to improve on?
Conclusion
Knowing yourself better is a lifelong process that requires curiosity, honesty, and openness. By exploring your VITALS, you can gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what makes you unique. You can also use this knowledge to enhance your happiness and well-being, your decision-making and self-control, your resistance to social pressure, your tolerance and understanding of others, and your vitality and pleasure. I hope this article has inspired you to get to know yourself better. Remember that you are a complex and dynamic person who is constantly evolving and growing. So keep learning and discovering new things about yourself every day!
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