Stop Living Without What You Want and Start Living With What You Have

I’m sure you all have many things that you want in life. Maybe you want a better job, a bigger house, a nicer car, or a more loving partner. Maybe you want to travel the world, start a business, write a book, or make a difference. Maybe you want to be happier, healthier, smarter, or more successful.

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But how many of you actually have what you want? How many of you are living the life of your dreams? How many of you are satisfied with what you have? And how many of you are frustrated, disappointed, or unhappy with what you don’t have?

If you are like most people, you probably fall into the latter category. You probably feel like you are living without what you want. You probably feel like you are missing out on something. You probably feel like life is unfair.

But why is that? Why do we live without what we want? And what can we do about it?

There are many reasons why we live without what we want, but I want to focus on one of the most common and powerful ones: expectations.

Expectations are the beliefs we have about how things should be, how people should behave, and how we should feel. Expectations are the standards we set for ourselves and others. Expectations are the goals we pursue and the outcomes we anticipate.

Expectations are also the source of our misery.

Why? Because expectations are often unrealistic, irrational, and unfulfilled. Because expectations create a gap between what we want and what we have. Because expectations make us dependent on external factors that we can’t control.

Let me give you some examples.

• You want to be successful, so you expect to get a promotion at work. But your boss doesn’t appreciate your efforts and gives it to someone else. You feel angry and resentful.
• You want to be loved, so you expect your partner to be faithful and supportive. But your partner cheats on you or leaves you for someone else. You feel betrayed and heartbroken.
• You want to be happy, so you expect life to give you what you want. But life throws unexpected challenges and difficulties at you. You feel stressed and depressed.

In all these cases, your expectations are not met by reality. And when that happens, you suffer.

But what if I told you that there is another way to live? A way that doesn’t depend on expectations? A way that allows you to live with what you have instead of living without what you want?

That way is called acceptance.

Acceptance is the opposite of expectation. Acceptance is the recognition of how things are, how people are, and how we are. Acceptance is the appreciation of what we have instead of the resentment of what we don’t have. Acceptance is the freedom from external factors that we can’t control.

Acceptance is also the source of our happiness.

Why? Because acceptance is realistic, rational, and fulfilled. Because acceptance closes the gap between what we want and what we have. Because acceptance makes us independent from external factors that we can’t control.

Let me give you some examples.

• You want to be successful, so you accept your current position at work. But you also work hard to improve your skills and performance. You feel confident and motivated.
• You want to be loved, so you accept your partner as they are. But you also communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully. You feel secure and respected.
• You want to be happy, so you accept life as it is. But you also take action to overcome your challenges and pursue your dreams. You feel optimistic and fulfilled.

In all these cases, your acceptance matches reality. And when that happens, you thrive.

So how can we practice acceptance? How can we live with what we have instead of living without what we want?

There are many ways to practice acceptance, but I want to share with you one of the most simple and effective ones: gratitude.

Gratitude is the expression of thanks for what we have, who we are, and where we are. Gratitude is the acknowledgment of the good things in our lives, even when they are not perfect or ideal. Gratitude is the appreciation of the present moment, even when it is not what we expected or desired.

Gratitude is also the catalyst for acceptance.

Why? Because gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we possess. Because gratitude reduces our dissatisfaction with what we have

• Because gratitude increases our satisfaction with what we have by enhancing its value and meaning. Because gratitude helps us accept the present moment as a gift, not as a burden.

So how can we practice gratitude? How can we express thanks for what we have, who we are, and where we are?

There are many ways to practice gratitude, but I want to suggest one of the most simple and effective ones: journaling.

Journaling is the act of writing down your thoughts and feelings on a regular basis. Journaling is a way of reflecting on your experiences, emotions, and insights. Journaling is a tool for self-awareness, self-expression, and self-improvement.

Journaling is also a method of gratitude.

Why? Because journaling allows you to record the good things in your life, even when they are not obvious or noticeable. Because journaling helps you remember the good things in your life, even when they are overshadowed by the bad things. Because journaling encourages you to appreciate the good things in your life, even when they are taken for granted.

So how can we journal for gratitude? How can we write down our thanks for what we have, who we are, and where we are?

There are many ways to journal for gratitude, but I want to recommend one of the most simple and effective ones: the three good things exercise.

The three good things exercise is a gratitude journaling technique that involves writing down three good things that happened to you each day. The three good things can be big or small, personal or professional, expected or unexpected. The only requirement is that they are positive and meaningful to you.

The three good things exercise has many benefits for your happiness and well-being. Research has shown that it can:

- Increase your positive emotions and decrease your negative emotions
- Boost your optimism and resilience
- Enhance your self-esteem and self-compassion
- Improve your relationships and social support
- Reduce your stress and depression

The three good things exercise is easy to do and takes only a few minutes a day. All you need is a notebook and a pen or a digital device. You can do it at any time of the day, but it is especially effective before going to bed. You can do it alone or with someone else. You can do it every day or once in a while.

The three good things exercise is simple but powerful. It can help you live with what you have instead of living without what you want.

To conclude, I want to leave you with this quote by Epictetus, a Greek philosopher who taught the art of living:

“Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will — then your life will flow well.”

If you enjoyed this article and want to learn more about how to live with what you have instead of living without what you want, I invite you to follow me on my blog, where I share more tips and insights on personal development, happiness, and well-being. I post daily updates and inspiration. Follow me now and join me on this journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. Thank you for your support.