Learned Helplessness: What It Is, How It Affects You, and How to Change It
Sometimes, bad things happen to us and we feel like we can’t do anything about it. We feel like nothing we do matters and we just give up. This is called learned helplessness. It can make us feel sad, scared, and bad about ourselves.
Learned helplessness was found by two scientists who studied dogs. They saw that some dogs who got hurt and could not stop the pain stopped trying to get away from it. They also saw that these dogs acted sad and did not want to play or eat.
They said that learned helplessness has three parts: what we think happens, what we think about it, and what we do about it. People who feel helpless think that what they do does not change anything. They also think that they are bad, they always fail, or everything is wrong. These thoughts make them do things like avoid hard things, quit easily, or not try new things.
Learned helplessness can make us sick in our mind and body. It can make us depressed, anxious, have low self-esteem, do poorly at work or school, use drugs or alcohol, have pain, or even want to die. So, it is important to know when we feel helpless and how to stop feeling that way.
The good news is that learned helplessness can be changed. We can change how we think and what we do. Here are some ways to do that:
- Think differently: When you have bad thoughts about yourself or your situation, try to think of good things instead. For example, instead of thinking “I am no good”, think “I have done good things before and I can learn from my mistakes”.
- Look for proof: Find examples that show you that your bad thoughts are wrong. For example, if you think you are bad at math, remember the times you got a right answer or a good mark. If you think no one loves you, remember the people who are nice to you and care about you.
- Do what you can: Don’t worry about the things you can’t change, but focus on the things you can change. For example, if you don’t like your job, try to learn new skills or find a new job. If you are unhappy with your partner, talk to them or get help.
- Make goals and do them: One of the best ways to stop feeling helpless is to make goals that you can do and work on them. This will make you feel like you have control and can do things. For example, if you want to be healthy, make a goal to exercise more or eat better. If you want to learn something new, take a class or find someone who can teach you.
- Get help: You are not alone. You can get help from other people who can support you, advise you, or guide you. Talk to your friends, family, doctors, or counselors who can help you. You can also talk to other people who have gone through the same problems as you and see how they got better.
Learned helplessness is not because you are weak or a failure. It is because bad things happened to you and you did not know how to deal with them. But you can learn how to deal with them and change how you feel. By thinking better and doing better, you can stop feeling helpless and make your life better.
