Love is one of the most powerful and universal human emotions. It can make us feel ecstatic, obsessed, attached, and even heartbroken. But what is happening in our brains when we fall in love? How do our senses, hormones, and neurotransmitters shape our romantic experiences? In this article, we will explore some of the fascinating science behind falling in love.
The stages of love
According to some researchers, there are three main stages of love: lust, attraction, and attachment. Each stage involves different brain regions and chemicals that influence our behavior and feelings.
Lust
Lust is the initial phase of romantic love, driven by the desire for sexual gratification. It is triggered by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen, which increase our libido and make us more receptive to potential mates. Lust can also be influenced by our visual perception of attractiveness, which activates the reward circuit in our brain.
The reward circuit is a network of brain regions that release dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good and motivates us to pursue rewards. Dopamine also enhances our attention, memory, and learning, which may explain why we become so focused on and fascinated by our crushes.
Attraction
Attraction is the second phase of romantic love, characterized by intense feelings of euphoria, excitement, and infatuation. It is fueled by a cocktail of neurotransmitters that stimulate the reward circuit even more.
One of these neurotransmitters is norepinephrine, which increases our heart rate, blood pressure, and alertness. Norepinephrine also stimulates the production of adrenaline, which causes our palms to sweat and our pupils to dilate. Another neurotransmitter is serotonin, which regulates our mood, appetite, and sleep. Serotonin levels drop when we fall in love, making us more obsessed and less rational about our partner.
Attraction also involves a hormone called phenylethylamine (PEA), which is related to amphetamine. PEA boosts our energy, confidence, and happiness, and may be responsible for the “butterflies” in our stomachs when we see our beloved.
Attachment
Attachment is the third and final phase of romantic love, marked by feelings of calmness, security, and commitment. It is mediated by two hormones that are released during physical intimacy: oxytocin and vasopressin.
Oxytocin is often called the “love hormone” or the “cuddle hormone”, because it promotes bonding and trust between partners. It is released during hugging, kissing, cuddling, and orgasm, and it strengthens the emotional connection between lovers. Vasopressin is another hormone that generates the desire to protect and be faithful to one’s partner. It is released during sexual intercourse and long-term cohabitation, and it helps maintain the stability of the relationship.
The role of the senses
Our five senses play a crucial role in falling in love as well. They provide us with information about our potential partners that can trigger attraction or repulsion.
- Sight: When we see someone we consider beautiful, our brains trigger feelings of lust and reward. We also tend to prefer people who look similar to us or our parents, because they signal genetic compatibility.
- Touch: Simple gestures such as holding hands or a gentle kiss can fuel the release of oxytocin and dopamine, creating feelings of pleasure and attachment. Touch can also reduce stress and pain by lowering cortisol levels and increasing endorphins.
- Smell: Our sense of smell can help us detect pheromones, chemical signals that convey information about fertility, health, and genetic diversity. We tend to be attracted to people who have different immune system genes than ours, because this increases the chances of producing healthy offspring.
- Taste: Our sense of taste can influence our attraction as well. For example, some studies have found that women prefer men who taste sweet over bitter or sour, because sweetness indicates a high-carbohydrate diet that can provide energy and resources.
- Hearing: Our sense of hearing can also affect our romantic preferences. For instance, some research has shown that women prefer men with deep voices over high-pitched ones, because low voices indicate high testosterone levels and dominance.
The effects of love
Falling in love can have profound effects on our body and brain. Some of these effects are positive, such as:
- Enhancing our mood and well-being
- Boosting our immune system and health
- Increasing our empathy and altruism
- Improving our creativity and problem-solving skills
- Promoting personal growth and development
However, some effects can be negative or challenging as well:
- Causing anxiety or depression
- Reducing our cognitive performance
- Making us more jealous or possessive
- Increasing our risk of addiction or abuse
- Triggering heartbreak or grief
The conclusion
Love is a complex phenomenon that involves multiple brain regions and chemicals that interact with each other and with our senses. Love can make us feel ecstatic or miserable; it can inspire us or destroy us; it can unite us or divide us. Love is not just a feeling; it is a biological process that shapes our behavior and emotions.
